peruviangirl2013 asked: I think you should be in love with Tumblr like me :) I hope you are feeling better about everything. I'm always here for you.

I try. I just haven’t really found something to be the center of my tumblr. My life isn’t interesting enough to post things every day about it. And I have been feeling better. Those earlier posts aren’t relevant anymore. For the most part:)

nerdygeekynerd asked: ♥

:)

Nothing can make this feel better. Not sitting outside in the cold, watching fish jump in the river, admiring the beautiful moon. Not sitting in the dark, taking a hot shower, listening to sad love songs. Not smoking every last one of my cigarettes. 

Now I’m still sad, and out of smokes. Lucky me.. 

nerdygeekynerd asked: ♥ i hope you feeling better ♥ =]

I hope I can start feeling better. Thank you though. Sometimes emotions just get the better of us.

Anonymous asked: what kind of tattoo do you want ?

The main focus of my tattoo will be a Bison and the quote ‘The earth is my body, My head is in the stars’. The rest is detail. 

Fake

It’s ridiculous how deceptive people can be. Why are you going to try and convince people that you are something you aren’t. Our family strong and united in God. Yea fucking right. Our family isn’t united in anything. Our family is in shambles. You aren’t making it better. You are destroying it. You are like a poison. Poisoning all of your loved ones to be just like you. Cold hearted, judgmental, and just plain mean. You think you are cutting out all the wrong people in your life for the right reasons. All that you are doing is separating yourself from the people who test you and question you. You don’t like it, so you cut those people out. That isn’t a strong person. That is the definition of a WEAK person. You think I am disappointing, look in the mirror. You are only disappointed that you can’t control me. You are disappointed that I’m finding myself as a person. That I’m real. I won’t let you contaminate me. Whatever wish-wash fucking pious beliefs you have, they are bullshit. You don’t have the right to approve of what I’m doing or not doing. You don’t even know me anymore. All you see is physical, you can’t even take time to spend with me one on one, to get to know me. I’m not just some hippie girl with a nose piercing, who wants tattoos. I am your fucking daughter for goodness sake’s.

You have lost yourself in marriages and children who aren’t even your own. You’d rather push your own flesh and blood away, your very own creations and the person who helped create you, then just submit to the person you are.

I’m not a disappoint, you are. You sadden me. I’m trying very hard not to hate you. It makes me sick.

And to family who might read this; what the fuck? I didn’t do anything to deserve ignored phone calls, and random texts, basically accusing me of knowing shit that I didn’t know. You can’t even give me the respect to text back, or call to get my perspective on everything. Thanks a lot. Continue on lying and pretending you are someone who you aren’t also. It will take it’s toll. And you won’t be happy.

Can any of you honestly tell me you are happy now? I don’t think so. There is too much deceit. 

Thank you to those of you who are honest. I’m not saying, I’m perfect in all of this. But I am me. The only me, you are going to get.